I’m talking like Ursula or the French spider from from James and the giant peach. Don’t give me some conventionally attractive humans (though humans are totally allowed) please.
Personally mine was Goldie from Rock-a-doodle. I probably watched that movie 100 times on VHS as a kid.
Besides, the tickling and scratching and poking of the grass isn’t really helping with the mood. Or the ticks. Or those random small rocks and/or roots and/or dried rabbit shits.
Or that one group of crows intently watching you from the tree close by and laughing at you
Yeah outdoor/nature sex certainly has its downsides. Still fun though. Just not as comfy as a good old fashioned mattress.