This, while they send threatening letters to researchers at Australia’s federal science agencies with questions like this:

Retrogametalk and segaxtreme

Funniest possible response would be to send honest responses exclusively expressed in Australian slang.

“Is your organisation a climate or environmental justice project?”

“Yeah nah. We’re not hear to fuck spiders. Rollin’ up the sleeves an givin’ it a red-hot crack!”

Just waiting for them to declare the PBS is socialism and withdraw all medical research funding.

“We’ll talk about it later, I told you, I’m very busy”

Thankfully there’s not many tsunamis in Australia, particularly on the east coast. But yes salt water plays havock with traditional water infrastructure and thermal pollution is a often overlooked issue.

Nah it’s an old copypasta.

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.

Wait until you try ctrl + z

https://sfist.com/2025/03/11/testimony-reveals-doors-would-not-open-on-cybertruck-that-caught-fire-in-piedmont-killing-three/

the deaths appear to be more the result of the vehicle fire, as opposed to drugs, or injuries the victims sustained in the crash. And troublingly, that testimony also showed the Cybertruck’s doors could not be opened in the aftermath of the crash, preventing Riordan from pulling the other three victims from the flaming wreckage.

When all your policies fail the only thing left to engage your voters is the culture war.

Sometimes

I think it could be argued that wearing ostentatious and expensive clothes is a type of self-aggrandisement. Wear something flashy into any local pub in country NSW and you’d get the exact same reaction as above.

My partner and I struggled with whether it was moral to have kids considering the future that we’re facing. But I guess emotion won out over logic. I wouldn’t judge anyone for not having kids, but I love mine more than I thought I could love anyone or anything.

I’d say it’s a different set of values but maybe that’s just my cultural perspective.

Tall Poppy is more about egalitarianism and modesty, where standing out or flaunting status too much is discouraged.

Whereas crab bucket is seen as being rooted in envy, jealousy, or a fear of losing status or position.

We call this “cutting tall poppies” in Australia.

I’ve always appreciated this story as an explanation for anyone who finds the concept foreign.

https://www.naturalhistorymag.com/htmlsite/editors_pick/1969_12_pick.html

Music: Woody Guthrie, Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, Dropkick Murphys, The Mountain Goats

Comics: Sam Wallman’s Our Members Be Unlimited

Movies/Theatre: Billy Elliot

TV: Firefly (feels kind of politically confused but that feels pretty accurate anyway.),

I unironically love the description of one of the most successful and influential works of art ever created as a musical you once saw because your friend was in it. That’s as working class as it gets.

Wow I never knew this. That’s fascinating.